Listening Beyond Words

Crisis affects each of us differently. In times of emotional upheaval, many instinctively rush to offer solutions—practical advice, steps to fix what's broken. But in the raw space of trauma, what people often need most isn't a fix—it's a witness.

When someone is hurting, their first response may not be rational. Emotions spill out in waves—grief, anger, fear—sometimes directed at the very people trying to help. That's what happened with José (fictional name), who came to me overwhelmed and distraught. His wife of 35 years was in serious condition, and without introduction or hesitation, he launched into a storm of frustration—accusing her of being aggressive, repressive, and offensive, despite all his efforts to care for her.

What José didn't yet realize is that this wasn't about her behavior—it was about her pain. She was in the grip of emotional collapse, unable to process or express what she was going through in any other way. Her lashing out wasn't personal—it was a cry for help.